Hey Laundroteers, I apologize for the couple months of silence. My life up till now has been a flurry of hurry up and wait, with each step of the journey bringing me achingly closer to the film being finished– yet not being finished will never feel close enough.
BUT before I get wrapped up in mournful generalities, let’s backtrack a little and get some details. I currently work as a post-production coordinator for two Spike reality television shows. It’s a job that involves me helping others to meet deadlines, stay within budget, and constantly stay in communication with the different parts of the sausage factory. (Yes, making TV is a sausage factory.) All of this is ironic, considering that producing my own movie often involves me doing the same exact things for myself.
For the past couple of months The Laundromat went through the process of peer screening and picture locking (the moment you stop editing your film). Was the film on schedule and on budget? Yes, and it was able to happen with the help of my amazing creative team. But whose schedule was I going off of? I set goals for myself and I’d say about half the time we were able to cheerily meet them. The other half of the time, I slowly and frustratingly realized that the indie feature must feel “done” to one person – me. Not a network or a showrunner or a set-in-stone air date, at least, I didn’t have those things breathing down my neck. On one of my most frustrated nights a clear-headed friend said, “You need to sleep on it. You can’t just lock it, because today is the day you decided to be done.” I could have if I had really wanted to, that was up to me. But my film would have been a sculpture without eyes (and a trogdor without chiaroscuro inverted V’s). So I waited. And slept. And prayed. Stalled some. Got impatient with myself again. And then grappled with it. And then I picture locked. And boy, did I experience glorious relief!
And now? Now is my glorious return to the grindstone. After you decide to stop fiddling with the story of the movie, now begins the 2 parts technical, 3 parts creative part. The list is as follows: Work with a composer to score my film, get all of the video files to be a similar aspect ratio and format, put some color correction onto my film, have someone make sure all the sound levels are right, and… more. There is still at least a month’s worth of work. I have entered Post Purgatory and yet I couldn’t be happier (and more scared). I am closer than ever to being finished and putting this film out into the world. So here is to the hurry up and wait, the frustration, and every step forward. I’m going to try and enjoy my time in limbo. Feel free to hold me to that!
And here are some things that happened or are about to happen:
– Daily Bruin article written about my peer screening
– Will be part of an upcoming panel in May at UCLA discussing AAPI mental health well-being; here’s a link to the organization running it